When Guidance Becomes Control: Spiritual Red Flags to Watch For

If you have ever had a reading with a practitioner at Wax Spiritual, you will often be given the same response when you ask to book in again: “not yet”, usually followed with a reason why.

As individuals who hold space in the shop, this isn’t an agreement we have formally made, nor is it a rule in place. It is, however, a shared understanding amongst us as spiritual practitioners, one that upholds the integrity and ethos of the work we do when we commune with your guides.

At the core of this is a commitment to always leave room for your sovereignty and authority.

To be sovereign is to know and exercise your power over yourself. In this context, I am referring to self-authority, not authority over others, nor anyone holding power over you.

We understand that people who enter this space come with a variety of experiences, both with other practitioners and different belief systems. Ultimately, it is up to you to decide who and what you align with.

However, this post is here to highlight some red flags in spiritual practitioners that are worth being aware of.

Who holds the power?

When you enter a reading, it is important that you feel you hold the decision-making power within your own life. A consultation should not feel diagnostic or prescriptive. It should create space for you to receive guidance, not instructions.

It is your choice whether you act on that guidance. The power and authority within your life should always rest with you.

What does the communication feel like?

Pay attention to the language and tone being used within a reading. Notice how something is said, and how it makes you feel. If anything creates a sense of urgency or panic within your nervous system, this is already a sign that something may not be right.

For example, fear-based messaging such as:

“If you don’t do this, something bad will happen to you”

is very different from:

“I am sensing this; however, it is your choice what action you take.”

Are you being sold to?

This links closely to practitioners who upsell, link services, or encourage repeat bookings unnecessarily.

For example:

“I can clear this block for an additional fee”
“I can’t quite see the outcome yet. Book another reading, and I’ll be able to tell you”

Returning to the same practitioner for similar questions within a short space of time can also be a sign of developing dependency.

Are you being sold a dream?

Energy is always shifting. While practitioners may perceive potential outcomes, there should always be context and flexibility in how this is communicated. Be mindful of anyone presenting something as absolute, rather than as a possibility or pathway.

Where are the boundaries?

Practitioners may share aspects of their own experience where relevant, but be aware of how much of your session becomes about them, their life, their story, or their needs. Similarly, be cautious of practitioners who lead or coach you into giving them answers about your own life.

While we are all human and personable, there are clear boundaries within this work. Overfamiliarity, inappropriate communication, or blurred professional lines are all red flags.

With the rise of social media, this can also include contact outside of agreed channels. For example, at Wax Spiritual, all communication is centralised via email, and appointments are made either in-store or through the booking system. We do not call or text clients directly.

Reflection

There are many red flags that could be explored. Ultimately, engaging in spiritual work should empower you and reconnect you with your own authority and agency.

The cycle of dependency can easily shift into control and misuse of power.

Be mindful.
Pay attention.
And above all, trust your own discernment.

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